Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Living With Your Girl by GOLIATH [Month #1]

Ok, This is to all my readers that are thinking or those that have moved in with their significant other. My boy GOLIATH just did it and he was questioning it and expressed that at this one forum I hang out at: However, I guess he figured out his decision and now lives with his chick. Here is his report after the first month. Enjoy, because most of his statments are hella true after leaving with a chick for the first time. LORD KNOWS I WILL NEVER DO THAT ____ AGAIN!
Goliath Writes:

Fellas. one month living with my girl. Here is what I leared
What a long month!

Here is what I learned..

1. No matter how right you are.. you are wrong.

2. If she doesnt make dinner like you want it, don't complain... Mom dukes aint nothing like wifey... and to compair their cooking is a bad thing.

3. Fightin over money is stupid!

4. Sex is always available!!!!

5. She snores as much if not more than me.

6. The imaginary line in the closet must not be crossed. left side is hers, the right side is mine... anything in the middle is tossed on the closet floor.

7. Wifey aint a maid.

8. Smart ass remarks about her weight, make up, hair, etc.. etc.. will not fly.

9. Let wifey spark the blunt first... she rolled it, she might as well take the first green rips.

10. Keep the farting in bed to a minimum.

11. Her friends are my friends now... my friends are her friends now... that means you cant tell your boys shit anymore!

12. Poker night can only be done once a week. No more 3 nights a week poker games.

13. Don't tell her about the $200 you just lost on sports betting.

14. Don't tell her about the $100 you lost in a crap game or a poker game.

15. Take a shower before wifey does.... with all that hair, she uses up all the hot water. Not to mention, she is in the bathroom for 30 minutes blow drying the hair and doing the make up thing. god forbid she curles her hair, thats an extra 30 minutes at least.

16. Make dinner for wifey once a week to show her some appreciation. I may not be the best cook in the world, but damn it... if you read the instructions on the box, you look like a genius!

17. Talking smack about her fucked up family is not good. Especially if you want to get some booty in a few hours.

18. Learning to watch TV, surf the net, and listen to her boring ass day is manditory! If she says.. "are you listening to me?" You must always say "yes", not.. "HUH?!!?"

19. When its that time of the month and she has aunt "flow" come into town... it isnt a good thing to sing the Too Short song "Dont fight the feeling"... "Are you bleeding, cant think about sex, irritated by your kotex... we dont need to kiss, we dont have to fuck, ill pull out my dick bitch you can suck.."

20. Myspace is not allowed to be viewed while she is home.

21. Asking "can we bring a girl home" while at the strip club with wifey is only acceptable if she brings it up first.

22. You got to always wash your plate off after dinner.

23. If she asks "do you want to help me do dishes?" it really isnt a question.. she really means... "Stop playing Tiger Woods 07 and get your ass over here and help me with these dishes!"

24. No matter how fine her sister is.. she is ugly!

and last but not least....

25. You must always put the fucken toilet seat down when your done pissing.
I can't wait for next month's installment Goliath. Thoughts anyone?

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